Tuesday 31 December 2013

OK, we're up. 2013 is almost done, and it's a fair bet that you haven't achieved all the things that you intended this time last year. It's not all bad: new stuff will have come out of left field that makes life a bit better - you finally caught up with that boxset on Netflix that everyone else has been wittering on about for years, you found a place that still sells fizzy cola bottles (you know, the decent actually fizzy ones), that kiss was wonderful. The second one was even better. And it all happens again, starting tomorrow. 

And that's terrifying, isn't it? Obviously, 2013 had its good points (no, honestly, it did - look at the feed of pretty much anybody on your facebook right now: apparently there was a really funny meme from Buzzfeed sometime in March), but there were clearly some devastatingly upsetting moments over the last twelves months. Now, in real terms, that isn't going to change in any perceptible sense anytime soon. 2014 will be just as challenging as 2013. But with much less food banks. 

This isn't meant to sound depressing. Well, no more than how I usually sound. But it can be instructive to acknowledge the darkness, and find for yourself where the light may be found. So, the usual thing is to make the change starting with yourself (Ghandi had a very good bumper sticker about exactly that). This, in theory, is what New Year resolutions are all about. Give up this. Start doing that. Stop buying e-cigarettes from Poundland (you don't want to be the focus of the news story when the first e-cig rip-off blows up in someone's face). 

The problem, though, with New Year's is that it's so abritary. It doesn't actually mean anything. Since time itself doesn't actually exist (don't tell Steven Moffat that, however, otherwise that will be the plot of season 8 of Doctor Who, as well as the backstory of Doctor Who back in 1977), we can accept that NYE falling on December 31st is vastly unimportant. We already know that Jesus wasn't even born on his own birthday, and it's worth remembering that nothing changes tonight: the clocks don't go back, and the solstice doesn't kick in. Tomorrow might be another year, but it's also just a Wednesday. The middle of the week. What disillusioned office workers usually refer to as 'hump day.' 

Once you realise this,  it can deliver you free of a great deal of pressure. There is nothing special about tonight. You are not contractually obliged to stay up til the ball drops (even if Miley Cyrus is hanging from it). You don't need to have anyone to kiss at twelve. And there is absolutely no pressure to make a great sea change in your life and attitude starting tomorrow morning. Apart from anything else, there's still a tin of Roses and two decent bottles of wine to be finished off from the holidays, and if you're going to let them go to waste just because you are seeking to improve your life, then you have somewhat elegantly missed the point of what 'improving your life' actually means. 

This is not to say that seeking to improve is not a desirable pursuit. Sure, by all means, give up smoking. Ask that guy out / finally dump him. Eat more fruit. Take up rockclimbing/learning Mandarin/burlesque/a combination of all three. But here's the thing. It doesn't have to happen tomorrow. And indeed, if it gets to, say, April, and you haven't managed to get round to it, that's not a new year resolution that you failed at, because it's not about some arbitrary date in the calender. If you get to April, and there's still something that you need to start striving for, something that gives you energy and passion to push yourself forward, well, that's brilliant. Because, as you might have already worked out, tomorrow won't be the only Wednesday of 2014. There are plenty more hump days to come. 

Happy New Year. 

One Day Down, 364 To Go ..

So, how has 2013 been for you so far? I imagine for most of us, it is pretty much like 2012 was last week, just with slightly less turkey leftovers. Of course, there will be a small minority of you who suddenly and unexpectedly found someone to kiss when it hit midnight, and of those few, there will be at least a couple who have woken up this morning, the first morning of a new year, with someone strange in their bed. Well, start the year as you mean to go on.

For my part, when the clock struck twelve, I found myself on stage. I was at the NVT NYE party, and there was all manner of entertainments going on; song, comedy, etc. When they chose the person to lead in the countdown to New Years, to whip the crowd into some kind of joyous, expectant frenzy, they somehow ended up with me. I will never quite be able to understand their logic in that choice. Presumably Jools Holland was busy. I'm hardly the most cheerful or charismatic boy (or girl) in the theatre - hell, even in the postcode, so I can only assume they were going for a last days of Waco kind of vibe. I myself was incredibly nervous before I did my piece. A lot of this was because its reasonably rare to do a set where it's quite so important that you don't overrun (and, indeed, have audience members continually telling you just how much time you've got left), but the major reason I was nervous was that, even five minutes before I was due to go up, I still wasn't entirely sure what I was going to say. Like a drowning man about to go down for the third time, I tried to warn as many people as I could about my predicament, hoping that they could give me some last minute pointers as to something that I could chat about. But each of them, without exception, said something along the lines of You'll be fine; it's what you do: improvisation. Such faith is unnerving; particularly as the longer I do improvisation, the more I discover that there is so much more to learn about it.

All of this should come in some kind of use from this weekend. On Sunday, I have the short form improv classes starting again at the Duke Box Theatre in Hove, and on Monday, I've got the first in a very short series of long form improvisation classes, by way of prep for a long form show I've got coming up in the Festival Fringe. Doubtless more details will emerge about that as we go along.

It's difficult to know how I feel about this upcoming year. Just because of an arbitrary date, there's so much pressure to feel positive and full of hope, clearing the decks for a much more productive year, be it creatively, job wise, romantically, or just eating more fruit and veg. But then real life gets in the way, and if you're not already in a situation where you're able to tick all those boxes, it's easy to get ground down to powder. Over the holiday season, I was struck by the amount of status updates I read that said something along the lines of 'best wishes to everyone who gets to share today with others', the barely veiled inference being, of course, that the author of that update was themselves alone. I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about those updates. The usual reaction would be to rail against them, to assume that they're bitter cries for attention, but there's so much nuance and subtlety that can be lost when updating your status. So, I think I've decided to assume that these people are being sincere, and that they're actually wishing well to people who they perceive are better off than them.

It's not a bad way to be, really. We spend so much time and energy, it seems, in being jealous about what other people have, the breaks, money, time, sex and good fortune that everyone else seems to get, that its exhausting. And of course, here's the kicker: nobody really cares if you're jealous of their good fortune. Why would they be? If you're right, they're too busy having a great time. Much better then, much happier, and much healthier to simply wish them well. And then maybe we'll all feel a bit better. Jealously is a severely overrated emotion.

And as for the people who aren't doing quite so well, who, however improbably, seem to be jealous of us? Well, maybe we can start being nice to them, include them more. Look, the good vibe created by the new year celebrations is going to last three more days, tops. Maybe only until tonight, really. After that, it's all down to us.

Happy New Year.