Whatever The Weather, We'll Have Something To Talk About

I was very fond of the somewhat portentous way the BBC delivered the news this morning. After weeks of speculation, they declared, it's been announced that 2012 was not in fact the wettest year since records began. A perfectly timed pause, just long enough for you to think that they were about to go onto the next item. Then: 'It was the second wettest'. The reason, apparently, why it felt like it was in fact the wettest year of all time (all gags about Fifty Shades Of Gray aside) was allegedly because of the sheer variety of the weather throughout the year. I always thought that such variety, such unpredictability, was the only reliable factor of British weather.

But we always seem to be surprised by the rain. No matter that it's meant to be a British cliche, rain appears to always surprise as a much as a season finale to Breaking Bad. No matter that pretty much any film set in London, whether by UK or US filmmakers, is required by cliche law to have a downpour at some point ("Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed") - either that, or a street shrouded in fog - despite all of that, you can pretty much guarantee that, the next time you're at work, and it starts to rain, everyone will display open mouthed astonishment at the window. 'Look, it's raining,' someone will say in an awe struck voice to another. Their colleague will nod sagely, as if they have never seen such a thing before. 'Look at it come down,' they will reply, thereby signalling that they have at least a rudimentary grasp of how both rain and gravity work. A third work colleague will usually pass at this point. 'They said on the weather that it would rain,' they will intone thoughtfully, providing a pause long enough for everyone to come to the conclusion that they are about to voice: '... And look at it. It is.' Everyone will look, a little longer, at the sheets of water slashing down, fascinated, perhaps thinking that they'll never get to see such a wondrous sight again in their lifetimes.

Obviously, I'm being slightly too harsh. The weather is something for people who aren't exactly friends to talk about and to share in common, and generally speaking, your work colleagues aren't exactly your friends. Weather, therefore, is a reasonably safe subject to discuss, since politics are an unwise topic to bring up (unless your work colleagues are actually politicians, in which case such discussions are probably actively avoided), and your private romantic life is always going to be discussed, but only when you're not actually in the room.

So called 'safe' conversations are - well, safe, but they're not always the most interesting, and certainly not if we continually resort to talking about the weather. And if you think that's a bit rich, since I've just filled up a blog talking about exactly that, well then, I'm not going to argue with you. Or maybe I am. It might make the conversation more interesting.