Ignore Them, And Watch Them Come Back For More

So, Caroline Criado-Perez did a lovely thing: she campaigned successfully so that when the British bank notes change face next, they will feature Jane Austen on the ten pound notes. This is significant because women are rather unrepresented on bank notes, rather suggesting that in this nation’s history is devoid of important females to choose from, with the exception of Florence Nightingale, who doesn’t even appear on bank notes anymore. Some people have tried to claim that the campaign was a bit of a PC agenda, and ultimately pointless, since a woman appears on every single banknote, presumably missing the point that Queen Elizabeth appears as the monarch, not an honorary female, and will, with the best will in the will (and, one would expect, with literally the best will in the world) not be on any fresh bank notes printed in, say, fifteen years time.

This wasn't enough, though. Quite soon, Perez was subjected to a genuinely horrific torrent of abuse, most of it within a 24 hour period, and mostly, it seems with the sole intention of shutting her up, just for having an opinion. Apart from anything else, this must be simply frustrating as well as depressing and at times threatening. To have abuse thrown at you when  nobody knows who you are, but to have it again (and magnified) when you are successful and established must be suffocating: ‘What the hell do you guys want?’

This has in turn prompted people like Caitlin Moran and others to ask exactly what twitter is doing about online abuse, particularly the threats of rape and death directed at women. Whereas facebook does have a resource for reporting on stuff you’re not happy with, twitter does not. Granted, facebook doesn’t always get it right (too many pictures of new mums breastfeeding get nixed, for instance), but it’s arguably a faltering step in  the right direction. When officials on twitter were asked what they were going to do about it, they battened down the hatches and made their accounts private (ironically, citing online abuse as the reason). It’s now been suggested that high profile account holders on twitter abandon the site to its own devices (and the trolls) on August 4^th – a so-called ‘trolliday’.

If I’m honest, I think that the Troll-iday will achieve very little, in actual, practical terms. The idiots and the bullies won’t really notice what’s going on, or they’ll simply sneer and declare loudly (and correctly) that such a boycott won’t really make much difference. And, to a very great extent, they’re exactly right. It’s already been argued that trolliday won’t silence the bullies, but actually make them bite harder. But like most protests, I suspect it isn’t the event itself that’s so important, as what it represents, and the reams of newsprint that will be (and have already been) devoted to the cause will argue. This isn’t about getting the trolls to shut up. It’s not even about ignoring them. It’s about something a lot simpler and more elegant. It’s giving us a chance to grow the hell up.

Let’s be clear here: this isn’t infringing on anyone’s freedom of speech. A ‘report abuse’ button on twitter (or any other social platform) does not – and should not – stop anyone from arguing, say, about the amount of benefit-swallowing immigrants swarming into the country every hour. That opinion, in of itself, is not actually offensive, although it’s arguably ill-informed. And indeed, it in theory leads to what twitter should excel at: two differing opinions smashing into each other (in 140 characters at a time), at the end of which, hopefully at least one person learns something they didn’t know before. If they were listening.

Many people argue (and quite loudly, ironically enough) that it’s pointless to draw attention to the troll – that such attention is exactly what the troll craves. It’s gone as far as to create a piece of advice that sounds like it was originally penned by the Brothers Grimm: ‘Don’t feed the troll’. It is, of course, an entirely meaningless and selfish bit of advice, which even this second someone is typing out on twitter. Hopefully, the trolliday, if nothing else, will go some way to dismantling that most insidious of pointless advice: ‘block and ignore’. This is the latest version of the idiotic demand that we’ve been handed down across the years, starting at school when we’re told to ignore the bullies, and they’ll go away, to questioning why the girl who was attacked was dressed like that and out so late, to sneering at celebrities who plead for privacy from the tabloids. Not only does it – unforgivably – blame the victims, it feeds an everlasting lie: that, if you (yes, you, not them) alter your behaviour, the bullies go away. But that’s not true. It was never true, and it never will be. The bullies don’t go away. Best case scenario: they simply turn their attention to someone else. But even that isn’t the problem with ‘block and ignore’. I’m sure that there are a few people who have given that advice in a well-intentioned manner. But they are presumably unaware of what that advice actually means. It means exactly the same as ‘just ignore then and they’ll go away’ always meant. The translation, if you don’t know what it means (and, don’t lie, you do know, you always knew what it meant) is simply this: Oh, please fuck off. I really don’t care enough about your unimportant problems. I don’t want to stand up for you, I don’t want to draw attention to myself. If I attach myself to you and your needs, I might get contaminated by whatever the bullies have smelled on you. You’ve probably done something to deserve the abuse you’re getting, because I really can’t be bothered to consider a world in which bullies will threaten rape and death for no good reason whatsoever. Just keep quiet, and it will go away. Or, at the very least, hopefully you will go away, instead. Either works for me. Just as long as I don’t have to help. Ignore them and they will go away.

Of course, that’s completely in the wrong. But not, actually, for the reasons that those who say ‘just block and ignore’ think. There’s a reason why this is a particularly hot topic at the moment. If you disagree with me on any subject – like, say, that the last Spiderman film was an entirely pointless if pretty reboot – then you would be perfectly able to disagree with me, and voice your disagreement firmly. You might even get a bit sweary, and call into question my intelligence and basic eyesight. None of this would fall into the realms of abuse, because it’s significantly unlikely that you would claim that the reason I disliked the last Spiderman  film was just because I was fat/ugly/had childbearing hips. (I don’t have child bearing hips, by the way. Those twigs would snap in a matter of seconds).  I’m not particularly fond of the often mis-used ‘check your privilege’ line, but its undeniable that I am pretty privileged: as a white male, my opinions are not going to be dismissed just on the perceived value (or lack thereof) of my gender. Indeed, if anyone calls me a fucking idiot, it’s because they have enough respect to honestly think that I am indeed a fucking idiot.

I know it’s a cliché, but having thought about this a bit, I can’t think of a better reason: the torrent of abuse that gets chucked at high profile, successful women online is borne of one thing only: fear. Sweaty-eyed, gibbering fear. If I talk about ‘a person going into a bar’, our default reaction is to assume that I’m talking about a man (and a white man, at that). The thing is, when you occupy a default position, you don’t have to do a hell of a lot to keep on to your crown. When intelligent, dynamic women are changing the world without having to change their hemline, others get confused and – yes, scared. If the trolls want attention, then, by all means, lets give them all the attention they can cope with, and more. You remember what it was like in school, or when you or your friend was in an abusive relationship. The bully thrived on silence. Not speaking up supports the bully. ‘Block and ignore’? How dare they. How dare we. It’s time to shout back.