Doctor Who Death In Heaven Spoiler Free Review

Well, here it is. And, woah. 

Let's start with the headlines, shall we? It's good. Actually, it's very good. In order to say anything else, we have to invoke whats quickly becoming a cliche even in spoiler-free review: if you really don't want to know anything - stop reading now. Seriously. 

In this past week, it's been reported that a total of nine viewers complained to the BBC about the themes raised in Dark Water. Those people will have plenty to complain about in this episode, as well, since the dead - particularly loved ones who are dead - are treated in a reckless manner, with an almost total lack of respect. It's by the far the most upsetting concept the show has dealt with in recent years. When there is no more room in hell (or heaven) the dead really will will walk the earth. 

There are a couple of moments in this finale that you are likely to have a very strong reaction to. In fact, it's reasonable to assume that by the episodes end, you're going to feel fairly angry. Not in a it's-time-for-Moffatt-to-go-he’s-destroying-my-programme kind of way. In fact, this might be the finest season closer he will write for Doctor Who. No, this is the kind of anger expended when you're genuinely invested in the characters and care about what happens to them. The stakes are very high, and it is clear that we cannot put good money on who does - and does not - get their happy ending. 

Moffatt and director Rachel Talalay are at their best here with a very tight script peppered with excellent jokes (like the reaction to The Doctor’s changed appearance, and a eyebrow raising gag about suicide bombers), to genuinely terrifying scenes where the show is channelling anything from Air Force One to George A Romero, to the point that you expect a cyberman to stalk the Doctor’s companion with “They're coming to get you, Clara ..” 

Since they appeared in the trailer, we’re probably safe in telling you that Kate Stewart and Osgood return, and they're every bit as fan-pleasing as you would hope. Stewart, in particular, gets a good few one-liners that deserve to find themselves on Whovian T-Shirts by the end of the year. There's also a great line that appears to gently damn the write-it-large elements of the Russell T Davies era. 

Yes, we’re dancing around the edges. No, we can’t say anything. If this preview was in anyway accurate, it would be a page of thick black lines, with maybe the occasional ’REDACTED’ screaming at you. What we will risk saying is that this story is about souls and promises. A number of characters fight desperately to save souls (crucially, not necessarily their own),and at one point (we can't even risk telling you when) a promise is half-made. And if we are paying attention, we can guess exactly how that promise will turn out. Elsewhere, Clara continues to channel her inner Doctor, at one point even invoking a familiar line from the Tennant era. 

We should say one last thing, and we’ll say it very carefully and slowly, because if you're a real ’traditional’ Who fan, one who doesn't much like change, then we have to say that a) you're really watching the wrong show, and b) you might want to sit down, because what we want to tell you might really annoy you. Michelle Gomez? She’s extraordinary. So extraordinary, in fact, that (you are sitting down, right?) there is an excellent chance she may obliterate the memories you have of any previous actor inhabiting the role of The Doctors’s arch-enemy. Yes, including that guy. Like the best power-mad crazies, there is a magnetic steely dead-eyed attitude to her that for her is clearly very sane indeed (it's not even clear that power really is her objective). She is entirely in command of every scene she’s in. One sequence, which basically consists of her just saying numbers, is a exercise in supremely upsetting tension. Electric eyes, electric performance. Gomez has breathed new life into a show that didn't know it needed it. She has, to coin a phrase, upgraded Doctor Who. 

If you want to see such things, there may be a bit of frisson between The Doctor and The Mistress, but honestly? That's in your perception rather than the performances. Interestingly, it's The Doctor that feels the need to prove his manhood, but it’s good that nobody really cares about about The Master’s sex-change. That's important for the show as a whole, and not just within the remit of sci-fi. Sure, The Mistress is still a white  Cis straight(ish) character, but it’s telling that no-one focuses on the fact she used to be a man, not even stammering over he/she pronouns. And yes, The Doctor appears to tacitly acknowledge that such a possibility is open to him. As you might have guessed, we've spent more time in this paragraph on the subject than all the characters do over the course of two episodes. For everyone else, it's entirely irrelevant. 

In short, this is an excellent episode. Sure, as is traditional around these here parts, there are a couple of moments around the resolution that wobble slightly, that may give you pause and make you look around awkwardly if there are non Doctor Who fans in the room. But otherwise, this is breathless, thrilling drama, and there's the real sense that the show is going up several notches for season 9. In this season, a major theme has been lying. That reaches a high point in this episode, with two very significant lies being told. And for once, we understand precisely why. 

“Say something nice”, The Mistress has a habit of saying in a disturbingly menacing manner. Since we've said quite enough nice things about this episode, we’ll say something helpful. If you can't see Death In Heaven as it airs, stay well away from the Internet. Trust us on this. You shouldn't have even read this, and listen: we don't lie. 

5/5

A slightly edited version of this review appears at http://www.cultbox.co.uk/reviews/episodes/doctor-who-s08e12-spoiler-free-review-death-in-heaven 

The Scariest Things About Doctor Who - Dark Water Weren't Even In The Episode

If you're reading this, then you're on the Internet. And if you're on the internet, there's no way you’ve managed to avoid the revelations of ’Dark Water’. So, without any respect for spoilers, let's see exactly how dark this water was below the surface ... 

“Just This Once, Everyone Lives!” 

The rebooted series has a noble tradition of turning over-familiar elements into vital plot points (the double heartbeat of the theme music, the question inherent in the title itself). Now it seems Moffatt is ransacking his own dialogue, and returning to a line from ’The Doctor Dances’, and a trope of his best episodes - even the victims haven't actually died. Before, this has been way of a happy ending for all - but now that we know the dead still have a connection with what's going on with their bodies, the afterlife has been rewritten as the darkest concept the show has explored so far. 

“By The Goddess, We Have” 

If the idea of souls being tethered to the pain of their corpses wasn't upsetting enough, there's the large-enough-to-miss-it suggestion of who exactly Missy is to us. No, not the big reveal near the end of the episode, which we’ll be coming to later on, but ever since ’The Caretaker’ and Seb’s dry comment “She’s a bit busy today” when the policeman says “Oh my God”, there's been a heavy hint that the dead have a pretty firm idea about  who is in control of Heaven. By the way, The Master has tried God-heading Earth in his own image before, back in  ’The End Of Time’. 

“Time Lady, Please. I'm old-fashioned”

For this reviewers money (not that he has a great deal), the revelation that Missy is actually The Master makes complete sense, and is a beautiful continuation of the character. Generally the reaction was largely positive, the nay-sayers panicking that it was a PC move (want to walk me through that?), or that it leads the way to a female Doctor. It's probably more likely that the existence of The Mistress actually delays such a thing for a good few years - it would be quite a leap, albeit an admirable one, if both the shows hero and villain end up as women. Annoyingly, even the fact that The Master is now a woman doesn't have to be set in stone: it is possible that an escape clause has already been written into the plot - who says that Missy is a direct regeneration from the John Simm Master? She could be from earlier, even before the Derek Jacobi incarnation. It's worth acknowledging, then, that in an episode with death, cybermen, hell and sentient corpses that the most terrifying thing for some fans was the idea of a female Doctor. We've been having this argument for about thirty years now - ever since Baker The First suggested it as a playful joke - and I've heard/read hundreds of arguments and reasons as to why The Doctor must NEVER be a woman. And not a single one of those arguments make any sense. Nor will any argument in the future. And yes, that was the sound of a gauntlet being thrown down. 

“Leave The Girl. It's The Man I Want”

Another, less hysterical, and more understandable criticism is that a female villainous Timelord being revealed to be The Master was something of a missed opportunity, when there was a perfectly good Rani going spare. Let's ignore, for now, the response that nobody really remembers The Rani, and that Kate O’Mara’s magnificent performance belongs firmly in the camp-neon era of the eighties. The truth is somewhat subtler: certain sections of fandom are voicing the concern that because the Master is now the Mistress, you rule out any chance of The Rani ever returning. That, we hope, is rubbish, because it would suggest the show only has room for one female bad guy. And it's not like there's a quota on that sort of thing. Not like there is for female writers (cough, cough). 

“Tongues?” 

Missy planted a smacker on The Doctor before she revealed her true identity. Now, if that's simply The Master/Mistress screwing with her old Time Lord fremeny, then fine. However, if it's a Moffatt ’strong woman’ trope (sarcastic remarks, sexually confident, a fondness for power dressing), then we rather think he’ll have missed a trick here. We’re inclined to believe the former, however, if for no reason other than this: we can absolutely believe that John Simms’ Master would have done the exact same thing, given half a chance. And, yes, it’s worth pointing out that Matt Smith’s Doctor spent a lot of TARDIS hours delivering unasked for kisses, and yes, we’re not exactly happy with that, and yes: that's an essay for another time.

“Where There’s Life ..”

Three words. Three words heard in the ether by Doctor Skarosa (hang on, what was that name again?) on which the Cyber-plan hangs. But they are not the most important three words spoken in this episode. It's another three words, spoken at two pivotal points, that condemn Danny Pink to his fate - once by killing him, and the second time trapping him in a hell without Clara. The three most terrifying words in the Master-plan are, of course, “I love you.” 

“Is There A Particular Dead Person You Want To Talk To?” 

You want dark? Here's dark. The Doctor says that almost every culture has a concept of the afterlife, and that he always meant to have a look. Which means, simply, that he considered it at least possible to visit, speak to, or maybe even save anyone who died.  Which means only one thing: he must have really hated Adric. 

Wednesday November 5th 2014

So, here we are then: just one month until the first night  of The Snow Queen. Back in March, it was just so many scribbles on scraps of paper. Now it's a cast of twenty-five plus. I'm still slightly giddy at how it's all turned out.

Don't get me wrong; strictly speaking, it hasn't turned out yet. There's still a month to go after all, and all sorts of special effects to sort out, as well as recording the music (a chapter of accidents has meant that our original musician isn't able to provide the music for us, which, if the show wasn't already in  a pretty good place, would be feeling us with fear and panic. As it is, however, the songs have sounded pretty damn good acoustically, so I'm inclined to think that we're in a good space no matter what happens). But there's genuine chemistry between the cast, some really lovely performances, and all manner of people working behind the scenes (occasionally literally) to ensure that this will be a very special show.

On this Friday, we've arranged a photo shoot on the Brighton Pavilion ice rink (snow / ice - c'mon, we wee going to pass up an opp like that?) which really begins our countdown to the show. Early next week, we get the cast into the space, and at roughly the same time the set will begin to be built. (I keep saying to anyone who will listen that I had genuinely intended to do a show that was simply two actors, in a black box, no set. Nobody ever believes me). We're hoping to lay some tracks for the songs next week or so, and at around the same time we invite the youth theatre section of the NVT to join (making the cast numbers bubble up around the 30 mark: next time - 2 actors in a black box. Honest.)

It's all getting far too exciting, and I am in equal parts eager and terrified by what the next month will bring.